Is 20-20 hindsight.
Right at this moment in time I am thinking about friendships. Its funny how sometimes you can instantly make a connection and other times, years later nothing can remain or be called upon. Sometimes your lucky and get a Merlin though so ce la vie. Turns out that I am also more ‘non- judgemental’ than I thought. Being a confidant to a few folks recently reminded me that I am not an ass hole. Stressed? YES Quirky? Most definitely but not that big an ass. That I will take!
I also keep running out of time but the thing is now I don’t really care. Call it acceptance or whatever, for me it is some tiny progress. Counselling galore and hours crying has actually bought some tiny relief. I am talking 8 months or so of counselling and ‘homework’. I have high anxiety but realising that one component is that I self aggravate a situation has led me to stop a cycle that ultimately saw me go home in tears or want to hide and not talk to anyone.
Letting people down should always come second to letting yourself down.
And that’s what I was doing and heck I have bad days so sometimes I still do. The thing now is that I have a smidgen more self worth. I still have a long way to go but that’t why we do it step by step.
But you gotta try, right?
I think I have been rambling again.
NOTHING NEW TO SEE.
WALK ON NOW